Do you ever feel unsatisfied or unhappy with
now?
One life lesson we may learn too well is to seek
happiness in good things ahead.
We look to that future moment when we'll get that
promotion, realize that dream, buy that special thing,
or take that vacation, as the time when we'll be happy.
However, if that is your primary focus, you may find
yourself caught in the stress of forever-seeking and
never fully enjoy what is happening right now.
This tendency is a product of an important ability,
delaying gratification--which can be a good thing. That
ability helps you to put your time and energy into what
is most important in the face of more immediate or
superficial pleasures. Delaying gratification enables
you to pursue things of high value and deeper purpose.
Yet, these two experiences, enjoying what is happening
now and pursuing important long-term goals, need not
be viewed as an either/or choice. They reflect two
primary skills that go well together--focus and intent.
When you merge these two skills, you learn to be happy
now. Let me give you three simple actions that develop
these skills and help you arrive at a state of present
happiness.
1. Meditate
Meditation is a practice of "being present" by focusing
your attention in specific ways for a period of time. As
you meditate, you learn to observe where your attention
is located.
For example, you could be afraid about some future
possibility, worried about something that happened in the
past, or engaged in something that is happening now. You
learn to recognize when your attention is drawn off to the
past or the future so you can return to the present.
This is a skill that you develop with consistent practice
over time.
That is not to say that it is never productive to think
about the past or the future. Reflection and planning are
important skills as well. Yet, when you are unable to let
go of worry and fear, you lose your ability to consciously
choose your point of focus.
Meditation teaches you to consciously focus your attention
in ways that are most appropriate and beneficial to yourself
and others. You can then intentionally direct your actions
toward what is most important to you while also being more
fully engaged in what you are doing at the moment.
If you're interested in learning how to meditate, check out
this Program: Secrets of Meditation.
2. Appreciate
As you develop the ability to be present-focused, you start
to notice more detail in what is occurring inside and around
you. You can taste this moment because your attention
is "here."
You also discover that you can choose to focus on any
number of different details about what is happening. For
example, you could look at events with an eye to finding
what is negative, disappointing, or wrong. This might
lead you to look for someone to blame for that. Then you
could complain about it. Generally, that's a recipe for
unhappiness.
On the other hand, you could choose to see what is good.
You could actively look for what is going well and the
positive things that are possible because of these exact
circumstances. Rather than finding fault in yourself,
others, and events, you could discover that everything is
set up just right for what needs to happen.
You could appreciate "what is" and be grateful for it.
This is a powerful intention to bring with you wherever
you go.
3. Shift Your State
As you learn to look at life through the lens of
appreciation, you'll likely discover that no matter how
strong your intention to do that, there will be times when
you don't. There will be circumstances that challenge
your ability to find the good in them.
Old habits of negativity, judgment, blame, and complaining
will get triggered and you'll lose your appreciative focus.
When that happens, see if you can catch yourself in the act,
and insert a mental pause. See if you can observe your
reaction, without being consumed by it. Witness your thoughts
and feelings with a light, curious attention.
Understand that thoughts and feelings come and go--and
you have a choice about which ones you entertain and
maintain. You can choose your focus in line with your
intent. That is the key to being happy now.
That's all for today
Kevin & Matt
The Mind-Body Training Company
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